WOMAN WANTED (any age may apply): You cheerfully do what there is to be done, what significant others (boss and management included, of course) say they want, while trying to anticipate the physical and emotional needs of all (no matter what) to get jobs completed. You act as a domestic manager, overseeing everything (schedules, important events, holidays, recitals, dental/doctor appointments, clothes and food shopping, gift buying, and surprises). You add special touches to the home-fresh flowers here, a closet rearranged there. A fine cook and hostess, you also always look your best. You're interesting, clever, and witty, but also non-threatening and low maintenance.
You are in charge of the family social life. You keep the extended family members in touch. You send thank-you notes or feel guilty if you don't. You care for elders on both sides of the family. You get involved with the children's schooling, monitoring, and chauffeuring, and handle teen issues such as sex, drugs, and alcohol. You help with the college applications, fundraisers, bake sales. You read the latest how-to books on parenting, family health, and financial planning. You are always available for that heart-to-heart with your child, partner, parents, or in-laws. You are committed to the needs of the environment-saving the whales, the air, the trees, and wild rivers. You improve the lot of the less fortunate. You have dreams. You make them come true. Creative and innovative, you always have a special project at hand. You serve as a great role-model, not overwrought, unreasonable, or controlling. You do not let anyone down. You are self-sufficient, good company, cheerful, fun, sexy, and an articulate conversationalist. You are able to relax! You play sports. You are strong, courageous, and fit, but also soft, feminine, lovely, pretty, and sweet-not to mention supportive and a good listener. Please respond ASAP.