I have just finished reading the first chapter—Overfunctioning—
of your book. Well done!! Lots to relate to for me, especially from when my
kids were little.
When my husband and I were first married, we pretty much divided the chores
and responsibilities. When kids came along though, things got much busier
and more hectic. Scott was a great help but I FELT much more of the responsibility
for the kids and the house. Scott would do whatever I asked him to do, but
most of the time I had to ask. I have never been much of a delegator. So I
would end up doing most everything myself.
When I went back to work I was always aware that I was called a “Working
Mom.” Scott was not called a “Working Dad.” I believe this
happens because moms still have the bulk of responsibility for the kids and
the house PLUS they are now in the workplace, too, unlike our mothers. When
the kids were in elementary school I had several minor car accidents very
close together. Why was I being so careless? I believe I was so busy and distracted
by all the stuff I had to with the kids, house, job, etc. that I was being
too rushed and impulsive in my actions which resulted in car accidents. I
was in overdrive. It was also a big full-sized van which we thought we needed
for a boy-family. Not good for me!! We eventually sold that vehicle and I
slowed down. No more accidents!! I don’t think it was the car that made
the different. I just simply forced myself to slow down.
I have loved being a mom and I love my husband and kids. But it is not easy
and you do the best you can. Somehow we all survive and before you know it,
the kids are grown and gone with lives of their own. Do I miss the hectic
life? No!! I now enjoy a more relaxed and free lifestyle. Life is good.
I thank God every day for the things I have in my life. But, now I am dealing
with my mom who is 93 years old and still living as independently as she can.
However, more and more she needs my help and support. The hard part is that
she lives 3 hours away, so it means many trips up to her place for days at
a time. My brother is also in very poor health with no spouse or kids to help,
so I am it. But he lives in another State and I can only do so much. Being
the baby of the family, I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be last
man standing and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. It seems
that overfunctioning has crept in on me even in my retirement!
I highly recommend this book to any woman who has any responsibilities!
~Marge Branscum, retired school teacher, Dayton, Ohio
